Tuesday, 10 March 2015

Bathe the wound with salt


When the heart
Is cut or cracked or broken,
Do not clutch it;
Let the wound lie open.
Let the wind
From the good old sea blow in
To bathe the wound with salt,
And let it sting.
Let a stray dog lick it,
Let a bird lean in the hole and sing
A simple song like a tiny bell,
And let it ring.

Michael Leunig

What a shit day it was today!  I crawled out of bed this morning to get the boys ready for school and it took every inch of my being to make them breakfast and pack their school lunches.  Thankfully my Mum drove them to school which, enabled me to climb wearily back into my bed and under my blanket.

The ache in my chest and nausea in my belly was almost unbearable.  I struggled to fall back to sleep and so instead tossed and turned my self and my bedding into a knot.   Such a dreadful state to be in.  I eventually managed to drag myself out of bed around 10am but felt the sadness follow me all around the house, I couldn't escape it no matter what I did.  It wasn't until my beautiful sister and mother dragged me to the beach to go for a swim that I slowly eased out of my depression.

Salt water immersion is a remedy for everything and my advice to myself is to plunge deep below the water every day to clear my head and wash away my sadness even if it is just for a brief moment in time before the train of despair comes barrelling towards me once again.

The poem above was given to me by  a very dear friend who dropped in this afternoon just to check on me.  I love the words "to bathe the wound with salt, and let it sting"   I love these words because when I feel the sting in my heart, it is that pain that makes me feel closest to Adam.,  When it stings its when I'm thinking about him and the life we lived together and how our book of love has been re-written.  And the new chapters are yet to be written.

x Jodie