Sunday, 29 March 2015

Yes or No

Why is it so hard to make a decision?  One day I think I know the answers and the next day that answer is the opposite.

Two things have been on my mind in the last couple of days the first one is "Should we get a dog"?  Both of my little boys are desperate for a puppy.

Adam was quite adamant that we were not going to get a pet, mainly because we were often away from home.  Not just  with work/school but with travel too.  We were always planning getaways big and small and it would  just be too hard to do so with a dog.  Another reason was, no fence in the back yard, the next reason, "who will pick up the poo"?  (Certainly not me).  I now find myself in a situation where I do not envisage the boys and I going away quite so much and if we do it wont be camping in a remote National Park (where domestic animals are not welcome).  The fencing problem has been sorted out by my very own local backyard blitz team who came and measured up a little dog run at the side of my house with a gate at either end so that the doggy can have a safe play zone. Oh, and even the poo problem has been solved because both the boys have said they will do poo patrol.  The walking, cuddling and playing with the dog will never be a problem because we all want to do that.  I've watched my boys over the last 5 weeks interact with family members and friends pets and when they are cuddling those dogs they both have a stillness around them that is comforting to them and it's comforting to me see.  So I think it would be in the best interest of our family to find a little lap dog to cuddle.  I may well have just made a decision. (I will try not to think of the expense)

The second decision that is keeping me awake at night is do I go back to work?  When is it the right time?  Is there ever a right time?  On Saturday night I had convinced myself that I would go back to work. "It would be good for me" I said confidently to my sister.  "I would be strong enough", I said out loud.  Then all day Sunday and even today I am feeling anxious about the commitment that is work.  I don't think I can make that commitment because when the days come (and I know they will) that I can barely move or one of my children is so overcome with grief that I physically cannot go to work I will feel stressed about letting down my work place and the families that I teach and that is just too stressful for me right now.  I need to be home for the boys, I want to be home for me, I have a fair bit of "stuff" to sort out and go through and I think I just need more time. I think I just made another decision.

This blog is so good for me on so many levels and it  helps me to stay grounded.  I am grateful that you are reading it and sending me such positive feedback.  Thank you.  I will finish now with this little prayer from the ever insightful Michael Leunig.

xx Jodie

Dear God,

Give comfort to those who are separated from loved ones. May the ache in their hearts be the strengthening of their hearts. May their longing bring resolve to their lives, conviction and purity to their love. Teach them to embrace their sadness lest it turn to despair. Transform their yearning into wisdom. Let their hearts grow fonder.


SOURCE: 'A Common Prayer' by Michael Leunig,