Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Happy Hump Day

I'm feeling flat and I've got writers block tonight.  I'm struggling to come up with something new to tell you, something interesting that isn't just blah, blah, blah.....Its hard writing a blog every night and making it something worth reading.   When I write I know I'm writing to an audience and I write as if I'm speaking with a friend, hence coming up with something that you want to hear, but who wants to hear about my crazy busy day at work?  I can tell you though that on my way home this afternoon I was thinking about having a drink.  It would have been very easy to pull into BWS and buy a bottle or two.  I do miss it you know,  I miss the crack of the cap coming off, the pour into the glass and that first sip when I close my eyes and take a deep breath - ah relax Jodie.  That's what I miss the most,  the first sip;  its in that moment that I truly feel that I stop for the first time all day. 

I run from one moment to the next from the minute my alarm goes off at 6:00am in the morning and I don't stop until I fall into bed at night.  I thought that by me drinking less alcohol would equal me getting more sleep but that just doesn't seem to be the case.  I still manage to find things to do until after 10pm.  Why is that?  Why is life so busy?  How do we manage to fill our days right to the brim?  Why can't we say no when we know we should?  My mind is constantly planning, organising and arranging, then stressing because I'm not getting everything done in the day that I would have hoped, and then when I do drop into bed my mind races around the block a few more times before I rest.  When I wake up in the morning I still feel bleary eyed and almost a little hung over until I remember that I didn't have a drink the night before and I can't blame the booze.  I still feel sluggish and heavy headed, I still have a red nose (I think I'm allergic to the chlorine that I swim in each day, and its not the wine after all) and I don't function very well until I've had my first cup of coffee of the day. All familiar signs hey?

I started back at the gym this week and I was pretty determined not to weigh myself until the end of the month so I could see how much weight I could loose by not drinking alcohol for 28 days and adding a little exercise to my routine but the lure of the scales got the better of me and I went and weighed myself and so far I have lost 2kgs.  Woohoo!  Nice if I could loose that amount every week, I'd be almost back to my ideal weight.  That should be enough incentive to get me through the rest of this week because like I said earlier I could really have done with a wine tonight.  May the good Lord give me strength tomorrow.

This weekend my sister and my mum are coming to visit, I've told them they are NOT to bring any alcohol.  I bet they do!

I'm pretty confident that I will get through this weekend without a drink but I'm pretty convinced that next week is going to be really hard and the following weekend even harder because on that weekend we have my Nephews 18th and our friends wedding, both on the same day.  That will make it a little easier I guess, lets knock two big event out in one day - phew!  I'm already telling myself that its going to be tough.  

My poor husband this month is being neglected, I choose the only time of day when we can sit and relax together on the couch to instead be on my computer writing this blog.  He doesn't complain though, in fact he is very supportive.  He even did the dishes for me tonight so that I could come and do this.  I love him and with that I'm going to put the kettle on and have myself a lovely cup of tea.